Sorry for the lapse in postings… I usually post when something epic happens, but so far nothing out of the ordinary has happened since the faux squat piss adventure outside of McDonalds.
Background: Yesterday at Starbucks I ate two hard boiled eggs with Trader Joe’s Chili Sauce and some “Chicken” wrap. I put chicken in quotes because there was hardly any to be found. Anyway, add those all together and mix in a slew of samples of our new Frappuccino, a few cups of iced coffee with half and half and what do you have? A 15 minute bathroom break the next day.
So I was sitting there minding my own business and “Blue Pumas” walks in to piss at the urinal adjacent to my stall. I hadn’t unleashed hell yet because he kinda walked in as I was going about to. Mr. Pumas’ phone starts ringing and I heard him answer. At this point, I wondered how long he’d be on the phone because “it was time” AND I also had an evil idea pop into my head. As he said, “I’m not at my computer right now.” I unleashed hell. On purpose. I don’t know how sensitive his phone microphone was, but surely the acoustics of the bathroom would’ve at least broadcast SOME background noise. I couldn’t help but start laughing hysterically as I sat there. I muffled my laughter in the sleeve of my sweater to the best of my ability and I heard his voice crack as he tried to carry on his conversation, who wouldn’t laugh at that situation?!
In the end, the only thing I heard him say after he got off the phone and zipped up was, “Fucking a…” I successfully framed someone. And that my friends, is why you shouldn’t answer the phone in the bathroom.